


self

by colderthancold



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, angsty but ends fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 17:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colderthancold/pseuds/colderthancold
Summary: Skipping class was something new. Fighting with her girlfriend was, too.





	self

Skipping class was something new. Fighting with her girlfriend was, too. Riko felt as if she was someone else, and that that someone else was trying to make a hundred and eighty degree change in their life (which she didn’t want to make but seemed to be making). The thing is that in this particular Tuesday watching girls play soccer felt way more interesting than studying— and for some reason every day felt like a Tuesday, now.

Watching You get soaked in sweat while running and more gross yet captivating things of that sort made her think of Hanamaru. Hanamaru, who at this point of the match would be wet as if she took a dive in the pool with her clothes on and breathing as if she was going to die. Hanamaru, who would be most likely passed out by the end of the match. Hanamaru, who was mad at her for being something no one thought Riko could be: an asshole.

Riko sighed. She didn’t want Hanamaru to be mad at her. She loved her, even if she had accidentally hurt her feelings the past week two or three or maybe even four times. The thing is she was nervous due to college and everything that was happening, all the changes that were taking place in that moment. She had been acting over the top that week and it was all due to stress. But Hanamaru had tried to help. And the both of them hated excuses when saying sorry, so explaining she had been stressed kind of felt like a bad idea.

Hanamaru. She had been the cutest, the past year. Not like she wasn’t cute before that, but as a girlfriend she was more than Riko felt like she deserved. She had been caring, nice, and had always made remarks in that such specific sense of humor she had, the one Riko loved to death. Her dear Maru-chan. Riko felt like crying. She wondered if she was still refusing to say her name or if she was just ignoring her now, maybe just avoiding eye contact like she always did when upset.

And then a ball hit her head.

 

* * *

 

“Riko— Thanks god you’re awake, Riko-chan! God, this is good! Damn, I’m sorry I hit you so hard in the head. Didn’t meant to,” You was hugging her and Riko wasn’t sure about what to do. “I thought you— nevermind. It’s good to know you’re okay. You’re okay, right?” She sounded worried and pouty and Riko tried to smile. Her head hurt.

“Yeah.” She said. She had never been to their campus’ infirmary. She felt like a high schooler again, for a second, since it looked the same as their school’s. “I… What hour is it?” Riko asked, even if there was a clock right in front of her. You checked the time on her phone.

“It’s six. About to be six ten. Riko, I’m sorry I—!” Riko stopped her.

“Don’t worry, You-chan. So I was…?” She couldn’t finish the question.

“Two hours, Riko-chan. I even called Chika-chan to—” Riko interrupted her again. Her pain was making her feel more serious, kind of.

“You called Chika?” She asked. You nodded.

“I’m sorry if you didn’t want to but about an hour in I was freaking out big time. She came here with the others and looked at you and even held your hand and whispered ‘three mermaids’ into your ear and stuff… They left like ten minutes ago because everyone was saying we were too noisy.” She chuckled in the end and Riko could only think about two things: ‘three mermaids’ (a joke Chika was apparently never gonna let go) and ‘the others’.

“Who are the others?” Riko asked, putting her shoes on. She wanted to leave and go sleep at her house.

“Well, it was…” You looked up and started counting her fingers. “Ruby-chan, Yoshiko-chan, Maru-chan…” And she stopped as she noticed who she had mentioned. She looked at Riko, as if expecting a reaction.

“Maru-chan…” Riko said. “Did she-did she say anything?” She tried to sound convincing or secure about herself but had come off as nervous.

“Well, uh. She said something about school giving them a lot of homework and…” You knew she wasn’t saying what Riko wanted to hear and sighed. “She didn’t say anything about you. Though she left this book. I don’t know if it’s hers or if she was, you know, leaving it here for you.” You gave her said book and Riko sighed too. It was a book she had left at Hanamaru’s one or two weeks ago. Her favorite book. She had lent it to Hanamaru after she insisted she wanted to read it. And she was giving it back. That didn’t seem like it could mean any good.

You just stared at her and didn’t ask anything. Riko thanked her for that. She walked her home and tried to talk and make her forget about Hanamaru. She almost did, but Riko just couldn’t stop thinking about her girlfriend. Or maybe ex-girlfriend. She wasn’t sure.

She lied on her bed, looking at the book. Then something fell from inside it. A note. Riko opened it. It had page numbers written all over it, plus quotes from the book and even annotations about the characters and scenes. Riko smiled. Hanamaru had read it, and after reading her note, Riko had realized she had loved it. She had, of course, found the romantic part a little clueless (something Riko was ready to hear from her) but she had loved it still, and had left her annotations inside it like she always did. Riko felt warm inside. She loved her, she couldn’t help it.

She read the note again and again and noticed something. A quote Hanamaru had written on it. It had to do with pain, heartbreak. ‘Oh my god’. Riko thought. ‘I’ve fucked up’.

 

* * *

 

“I just want to talk to you for a second.” Riko said as she followed Hanamaru around the library. “Just a second, Maru, please.” She said. She saw her expression change for a second when she said her name. Maybe not everything was lost.

“Maru, I—” She stopped. Hanamaru was really good at ignoring people and for a moment Riko even doubted her own presence. “Hanamaru!” She snapped. Hanamaru looked at her.

“No screaming in the library. Jeez, zura.” She said, leaving. Riko took her arm.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m so, so sorry. I love you. I—” ‘I haven’t been feeling like myself lately,’ she wanted to say. “Please forgive me. I shouldn’t have treated you like I did last week and I can’t be any more sorry about it.” She said. Hanamaru looked at her.

“So you’re sorry.” She had a teasing tone of voice and Riko smiled. Back to usually snarky Hanamaru.

“I’m sorry.” Riko said. Hanamaru patted her head. Riko wondered if Hanamaru didn’t feel like herself, too.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Riko-chan.” She gave her a peck on the cheek. “I…” She never ended that sentence, as Riko kissed her lips.

“I guess you’re bolder, now.” Hanamaru said.

“You like it?” Riko asked.

“Maybe.”

‘I haven’t been feeling like myself, lately,’ She would have said. ‘But with you, I feel the best.’

**Author's Note:**

> every fandom needs a fucking bad and annoying author so here i am. hooray.
> 
> i have a question to ask-- is my english ok? it's not my first language so i need to know.
> 
> also. thanks for reading what i write. i receive constant support from some people and honestly? one of the reasons i still post even tho i Hate everything i write bc i'm a terrible writer. have a good one yall, take care. remember to smile. peace out o7


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